Happy Birthday to Me!
And Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms

It has been a few day since I wrote my last blog, and so much has happened. Well to start it off Wednesday night I got off of work and there was a familiar name on my caller Id. His name is pretty common, so I was like nah that aint him. But then I went back to the number and I saw that it was a georgia number. Okay........I still didn't believe this dude was calling me, so I call just to be sure and sure enough it was him. I have known him for a while and we have dated off and on for the last 7 years. At one point I thought that we were going to get married. Last time I saw him he was at my one of my best friends baby shower with his "new" girlfriend. She was ugly so you know we were clowin this broad but anyways I was in a relationship with the old bastard so I could have cared less. The thing about him, is that we when were together we never fought or fussed. I can remember like once when we actually had a heated argument. Once in 7 years (even though they werent consistent) is very good to me. When we did break up it always seemed like it was mutual and we were both cool with it. There have been times when I did him wrong and he did me wrong, but we aint going into that tonight. Anyways the thing about it is that he wants me and I want him but it is not that simple . I want it to work but I am not ready for a relationship thats more than being friends and he said the same but his actions say otherwise. I am still getting over the old bastard so I need my time. On some funny shit though I met this dude at the store. He was cute, dressed nicely and seemed like someone I would like to kick it with or whatever. So he calls me and we talk and I ask him where he stays and he is like the telly. So me being naive and just silly say where is that I aint heard of that neighborhood. He says oh no I mean the telly like the motel 6. Huh? Nigga are you fucking serious. Now I know that we all come across hard times and we gotta do what we gotta do, but this lame ass dude was really trying to play me. In 1.5 seconds I peeped game and I was like so what you stay with your baby momma and you basically just trying to fuck. He says nah nah it aint like that, I am trying to get with you. I say not while you staying in a hotel you aint, call me when you get your shit together. So I guess he thought he could get his shit together in 3 days cuz he calls me back today and say hey whats up. Me: chillin whats up with you?
Lame: Trying to see if you want to go half on the telly. Me: dont call me no more. click. Thats it after this next sentence not one more second of my precious time we be given to him. I don't understand these dudes, you dont know me from a piece of trash on the ground and all you want to do is fuck. Anyways today I turned 25. I can say that I learned so much in the last two years that it is ridiculus. I am just greatful that I have lived this long and I am healthy, educated, and I dont have no damn kids!

Fuck these Niggas(or bitches)

Well this post is dedicated to all of us who have cried, been stressed, worried, got no sleep over a stupid ass man. This is about my last boyfriend, or whatever the hell he really was. He was older and more experienced (20 years to be exact) and he really broke my heart. Dont feel bad though cuz he told me front the begining what it really was. Now even though he was way older than me, to me he was sexy as hell. Sex was on point, he had 2 good jobs and he didnt act like a child. But that dont mean shit cuz he has issues as well. For one he always tried to belittle me. Made me feel like I wasnt good enough for him at times and he still does make me feel like that. There is a lot that I learned from him about being in a relationship, and I guess that was his purpose in my life.
I tried hard not to be "in love" with him, but after time you cant help but to catch feelings for someone. I think the thing that hurt most is that in 1 and1/2 years he never told me that he loved me. I mean you can have love for someone, but not be in love, and I dont know if he understood that. He showed me love by doing things, but for me that was not enough. So, I know that I was the one that really messed the relationship up by cheating and getting caught. But he told me from the start that he didnt want a girlfriend, so if I aint ya girl then I can fuck with whomever I please. So after the first time I cheated (stop laughing cole) he decided that we could be girl/boyfriend. But we getting older and and he wasnt trying to be my husband so fuck it I did what I wanted to do. Then I tried so hard to be faithful, but I just couldn't. Oh well. I was talking to one of my friends today and she was like you just like a nigga. Meaning that you just want the dick and no strings attached in certain relationships. That is so true, cuz I will crush on a nigga for like a week and the next week I wont even think about him. The thing about it is that before I would be quick to fuck and some people dont understand how you could do that, but when you got that nigga mentality, you do as niggas do and take the shit and run. I didnt look at it as being a hoe, but now i am like what the fuck was I thinking about. anyways the thing is I fucked him over and now I am paying for it. It is to the point where I want to cry and I cant even do it cuz it aint no need for tears at this point. But at the same time he was fucking me over as well cuz he let me get to the point where I cared too much. I guess that is why I cheated because we were at a place in our relationship where I wanted more but he wasnt willing to give. I aint used to that shit. I am used to getting what I want from a man.
I guess this is my get back for all the niggas that I threw to the side cuz I wasnt trying to buy the shit they was selling. I swear I would do anything for this man. If I had 20 $ to my name he couldve had 19 cuz he looked out for me. Well to make a long story short I moved to virginia and he was pissed and we did the long distance thing for a while. The last conversation we had he told me he was moving and he wouldnt have a phone for a while and he would call me when he got settled in. That was 2 months ago. I sent him an email about 3 weeks ago and told him I just needed to know that he was okay and that if he was it was fucked up how he handled the situation. No response, so then I called his # because it was still connected and this muthafucka changed the #. Well I guess he found time to call because he called me this past weekend when he knew I wouldnt be at home. This shit is so fucked up. I hate him, but i love him, but I dont want him anymore. If this is what love is like I dont want this shit. The good thing about this is that I have been celibate this whole year. If you know me you probally dont believe it, but its true so stop laughing. I just want to know what he is really doing, who is fucking, and why he doesnt want me anymore. That hurts when someone dont want you and you want them. It makes you not want to be in a relationship anymore and go back to your old ways, but fuck that AIDS is a bitch and I aint fucking with her. So know I am telling myself you might as well go ahead and make a thing out of being celibate. I dont know though, its hard especially when a nigga calling you talking about he got 10 inches waiting for ya. (Boy quit playing you dont know who you fucking with.) That story is for another day though. Anyways I feel better for the time being, so I guess I am through. Happy Birthday Lolo!
R.I.P. Big Momma- we miss you and love you.

My Intro to the World (watch out bitches!!!)

My first post. I dont know where this is heading. I dont know what topics will be discussed. I have been reading other blogs all weekend, and I decided that I want one of my own. I can tell you that my favorite blog right now is the world according to supasista. That shit is off the hook. Anyways a little bit about me- 24 years old will be turning 25 in 6 days. I am not looking foward to it. Why? Well for starters I am currently living with my aunt and uncle , which is cool but these rules are understandable but at times fucking ridiculus. I currently am a teachers aide at the local elementary school, which I love but hate. Why? Well because the kids are wonderful they show you so much love. The teachers are nasty, vindictive, spiteful, hateful, trifling (oh yeah teachers steal and lie as much as the next person) and jealous bitches. See my aunt is the asst. principal at this school. (Yes nepotism is alive and well folks.) I think that is what it is called. If anyone ever reads this please correct me if I am wrong. Anyways my aunt is the asst. principal and I suppose that I have gotten away with things in the past that others may not have. I am begining to realize that I should have started a blog along time ago. It seems to be very threaputic. Anyways bear with me I tend to get off task alot. I swear I have adult add or something and if I do, I will be pissed cuz I couldve went to college for free anyways once again yea I guess I came in late a few times, may have worn something that showed the tat on my back (unknowingly) and left the school without permission only once and I wasnt doing anything anyways. Yeah thats about it not to bad right? Anyways I do a damn good job. I know I do because I have been told that I do. I work with special education so it isn't easy. One thing about spec. ed. is that these kids are not stupid. Just because they cant talk doesnt mean that they dont understand what the fuck is going on. People tend to think that they are literally stupid, but I know regular folks that aint got as much sense as these kids. My point is if you ever see me write or talk about or laugh at the mentally handicapped I have an excuse. I have changed to many pissy and shitty diapers from a four year old child. I have wiped to many snotty noses and had my titties grabbed one to many times to not be able to laugh at these m.f's. But on the real though I do love them to death, they are the reason why I wake up in the morning and take my late ass to work. Job #2 is working at a recreation center- I love this job however I have major issues with my coworkers. Not as major as the hatin bitches at the elementary school, but I am from georgia (ATL HOE) and I am in virginia now. And where I am from if you tell somebody your gonna do something you muthafuckin do it. Now I went to school for sports management. So this job at the rec center is right up my alley(I promise I am getting to the point) and I recently finished all my degree requirements and a job opened up here. So my bitch boss (she has earned this title) tells me oh dont go back to georgia I want to give you a job. So being the gullible bitch that I am I say okay cool I will wait until yall post the job. And continue to do numerous other jobs as well.( at the rec center) At one point I was coaching 2 basketball teams 4 and 5 year olds and 10 to 12 year olds, and working 2 jobs. (No social life whatsoever) So I apply for the job- resume off the chain, fire ass presentation and everything- get to the interview it sucks. I know it sucked, but the vibe was not very professional, we were chattin like we were friends or some shit. Two weeks later no response, so I call my own job mind you and ask if they have made a decision-oh no ebony we havent decided what we are gonna do as of yet. Okay cool wait another two weeks & coworker number 1 says hey are you upset about not getting the job? WTF?? Why is this how I found out that I didnt get the job. I mean yeah I kinda of figured but damn thats some low down dirty shit. So fuck yeah I am pissed. Not because I didnt get the job, but because after all the shit I have done for you, you dont respect me enough to tell me, I had to find out from a coworker who has nothing at all to do with the job application process and bitch you aint even call my refrences so off top you knew what the deal was. I aint racist but sometimes I be like fuck white people. Only some. Dont get it twisted cuz black people piss me off as well, but when you are in a certain environment where they tend to out number you, they are bound to piss you off more often. And if you are white and you are reading this dont trip cuz I know you have said to yourself fuck black people before. (I can only speak the truth) So I am a professional, and instead of showing my ass I accept things the way they are, cut out all that extra curricular shit I was doing for these sorry bitches and have my bitch-you better-not-ask-me-to-do-a-muthafuckin-thing-when-I-come-in-this-bitch- or-I-will-cuss-you-out face on and its all good. I must admit though my feelings were extremely hurt. You know how sometimes you go through those phases when nothing seems to be going right? Well I was having one of those moments(MONTHS) The dude who I thought was my man damn near dropped off the face of the earth, I couldnt find a job, I was getting any dick, I need a new car, I need my own space/privacy, and my dog died. (sounds like the letter eddie murphy was reading ole boy on life) RIP Nino B. However things seem to be turning around (fingers crossed) it cant be this way forever. Or can it? Hell na. I am to intelligent and to fuckin sexy and one of these attributes will be used to pay the bills eventually. SO if you made it to the end of this shit thanks for hanging around and I think my next entry will be about my ex. It probally will be titled What the fuck happened to this nigga or He moved, changed his number and wont return emails, but he didnt love me anyways so why should I care. Yeah I get to vent on this muthafucka......Yeah should be interesting.........................Holla